On a snowy November day, my daughter Kit and I were organizing four boxes of Christmas tree ornaments, dividing them between us. Kit, now living independently, wanted to decorate her own Christmas tree. Unpacking the ornaments brought back memories of loss and sorrow for children who were no longer part of our holiday celebrations.
Over eight years, our family grew and shrank with 23 foster children. While most placements were temporary, our two children came to us through adoption during our fostering journey. I was surprised to discover that Kit remembered the stories behind each handmade ornament, even for those made by strangers. It was eye-opening to realize that her holiday memories differed from mine.
As I uncovered a tree topper received during our first Christmas as a newly married couple, memories flooded back. The crack in the angel ornament symbolized both its fragility and the end of my marriage. Passing it to Kit, I wondered if she would want it given its delicate state. Her eyes sparkled with joy beneath her festive reindeer hat as she accepted it.
Opening another tin, I found a Santa sleigh and reindeer ornament made by an eight-year-old foster child we had cared for. Grief and anger stirred within me as I recalled the court ruling that separated us from him. Kit sensed my emotions and took the ornament, reminiscing about how it used to be placed at the bottom of the tree for playing.
Our family made efforts to include foster children in our Christmas celebrations, adjusting our traditions to accommodate their needs. We ensured they could spend time with their families during the holidays and gave them personalized ornaments to cherish. These ornaments became mementos of our time together, like the Santa and reindeer ornament crafted by our eight-year-old foster son.
Unwrapping another reindeer ornament, adorned with pompoms and googly eyes, brought back memories of playful moments with my children. Dividing Christmas ornaments during my divorce years ago taught me the importance of fairness and equity, even in small details like sharing silly decorations.
Kit’s reflection on the enduring presence of Rudolph on the tree despite life changes struck a chord with me. Her perspective on our past experiences reshaped my outlook on decorating the tree this year. I look forward to seeing her unique tree adorned with our shared memories.